state of the ice

yes. there's plenty of it.
everywhere i look, it exists.
i see it on the leaves
i see it on a kite
it's all around me.


i know there could be more.
i believe so.
of the few things that happen to be obvious
only a handful is real
is tangible
is inevitably correct
and the rest
well
preposterous.


blame me for being so cynical.
but don't deprive me of the right
to keep my integrity
to be whole
to be damaged
but still
alive and kicking
and breathing
and wandering
wondering
fighting for a cause
of incomprehensible lengths
of time immemorial
of life and death
and of my own.

Procrastination is the enemy

It eats you up without you noticing it. It blinds you. It gives you the illusion that everything is perfectly fine. It holds you like a dog on a leash, and you can't free yourself.


You can't free yourself. Because still, it makes you do so. What happens then to things that have long been planned? To the wonderful ideas that never came to life? To expectations, goals, excitement? Procrastination really is the enemy.


Destroy it. Now.

I would love to hear it from you

I know it may not make sense. I know you think it would just be so stupid of me to think of it that way. Yeah, that may be true. But still, that doesn't stop me from having these thoughts in my mind.


I wanted to tell you that I thank you for making me feel appreciated. But then, I don't know why sometimes, I still feel like there's something missing. I don't know if it's because I still can't believe that it's happening now. It all started as a dream, and in a snap, I woke up and found out that it no longer exists in my self-constructed universe. I am in a panic, thinking that things might come to an end as abruptly as it started. I fear that one day, too, you'll wake up and realize that there's nothing more to this than there is genuine peace on earth. I wish I could ask you the questions I so wanted to be answered for a very long time. I wanted to ask you if truth lies behind every single word you say. I wanted to know if there's a chance I can get to know you better without fear of being given false identities. I wanted to know if you really are a changed man now, and that my doubts should once and for all be washed away. All of these, I want to ask you..but I won't ask if you love me too. I won't, because there's no need for that anymore. I wouldn't want to know anyway.


I just want to understand you. I just want all my fears to dissipate, to vanish to thin air. I want to stop thinking of you and all my questions, and I still hope for better things to come even if I know there's a great chance that you will fail me. But please, please don't fail me for as long as you can. I would deeply appreciate that.